See You In The Movies, Kid!
by Wanna Be Abby
Summary: They say it could only happen in the movies  and Tony is such a film buff.  A fic written in response to an idle challenge from my ever faithful Beta reader.  Alledgedly, my magnificent octopus!  Rated: T  just to be on the safe side.
1. Chapter 1

Tony edged slowly down the side of the old warehouse; his back pressed flat against the brickwork.

He knew Kate was right behind him.

And Gibbs?

Well, Gibbs had shot off up a staircase, a staircase so old it shook dangerously as he shot up the rickety steps, Sig in hand.

Kate tapped his hand with her fingers, drawing his attention to her.

Tony turned his head and she signalled that the corner coming up was to be taken carefully.

Tony rolled his eyes at her and nodded in what he hoped was a sarcastic enough gesture.

Jeez! Did Kate think he was McGee?

The two agents softly made their way to the corner.

Tony held up his hand and looked at Kate.

'On three?' he mouthed.

Kate nodded.

Tony held up his hand and held up his fingers.

One.

Two.

Three!

Both agents spun round the corner - firearms at the ready.

The alley was empty.

"What?!" Tony dropped his pistol and scanned the narrow alleyway.

"Where the hell is he?" Kate asked in exasperated tones.

Her radio crackled.

"Kate. DiNozzo. Top floor now!" Gibbs harsh tone sounded and the radio fell silent again.

Tony and Kate shot off back the way they had come, charging up the staircase their boss had taken and followed the landing walkway to a metal ladder that led to the roof.

"Ladies first." Tony stepped back.

Kate rolled her eyes and held out her hand.

"No, please DiNozzo."

"Well, if you insist..." Tony placed his foot on the ladder and began to climb.

As he did he heard Kate say something.

"What? Sorry, didn't catch that?" he asked, looking down the ladder at her climbing after him.

"I said, 'age before beauty'!" Kate told him.

"Hey!!" Tony paused in mid climb.

"Tony! Keep going!"

"We'll talk about that later!" Tony told her and continued to climb up. He paused as he reached the open hatch.

"DiNozzo! You gonna hang there all day or what?" Gibbs barked from nearby.

"Comin' Boss!" Tony swung out of the hatch, blinking in the sun.

He paused to help Kate out of the hatchway, then both agents armed themselves and made their way across the rooftop to Gibbs.

"You took your time." he grunted at them.

"The perp took off and we followed him, Gibbs. What did you want us to do? Take a gentle stroll in the opposite direction?" Kate told him, her eyes never stopping as she scanned the rooftop.

"Yeah, he took off down the alley, but he was heading for that," Gibbs indicated the opposite building roof and the small hut perched there.

"So why are we here?" Kate asked him.

"Because he thinks he's lost us."

"And how do we know he hasn't?"

"Because, DiNozzo, I saw him scuttle in there not five minutes ago!"

"Oh. Good call. Boss."

"Thank you." Gibbs gave him one of his myriad of snarky looks.

"So what now?" Kate asked.

"We watch. And wait." Gibbs told her.

"But not in the open?" Tony asked.

"Well, I don't know DiNozzo, I thought I might set up a coupla deck chairs, get a barbeque and few beers up here to while the time away!" Gibbs rolled his eyes and moved towards a large air conditioning unit, "And watch your step, this roof is unstable."

"Yes Boss." Tony followed meekly.

The three agents perched uncomfortably on the asphalt rooftop watching the small shack for signs of movement.

Time crept past. The sun got hotter. Their perp stayed put.

After what seemed an interminable amount of time, the door of the shack swung open and Petty Officer Giles Mason stepped out, carrying a rucksack containing a laptop, which he had been using to hack into the Pentagon with.

And an AK-47 assault rifle.

Gibbs leapt up and assumed the position.

"Mason! Freeze!"

Kate and Tony followed suit.

"Federal agents!" Kate shouted.

"You are so under arrest, Mason!" Tony took careful aim.

The Petty Officer spun round, shocked by his welcoming committee.

"NCIS, Mason! Freeze!" Gibbs reiterated.

"You and whose army?!" Mason shouted back.

"Oh, I don't need an army, Petty Officer - however you are gonna need all the help you can get!" Gibbs told him.

Mason's reply was to raise the AK-47 and open fire. The agents scattered.

Gibbs found a vent to duck behind, and Kate shot back behind their original hiding place.

Tony was left out in the open and he ran, zig-zagging and ducking to avoid the bullets missing him by mere inches.

He saw Gibbs beckon to him and he changed direction, heading for the safety of the metal air vent.

He heard a single gunshot and there was a pause in the fire coming from the opposite rooftop.

Tony stopped and looked as Kate stood up and took what Tony thought must be her second shot at Mason.

Mason, was standing open mouthed on the rooftop, looking down at the red stain spreading across his white shirt.

Kate's second shot hit his left arm, and Mason spun round as the force of the bullet hit him.

As he fell to the ground, he let off a final salvo of bullets, arcing into the sky wildly.

Then silence.

Gibbs strode past Tony, patting him on the shoulder as he did. "Nice footwork, DiNozzo."

"Er, thanks. Boss."

Kate stood up and was putting her gun away in her hip holster.

"Nice shot, Kate." Gibbs nodded in approval.

"Thanks, Gibbs. I saw my shot and took it. Well, them."

"Second one was a bit off though." Gibbs allowed himself a grin and marched across the rooftop.

At the hatch he stopped and looked behind him at his younger colleagues.

"Well? You two gonna stand there all day?"

Kate shook her head and she and Tony walked towards Gibbs.

"Talk about damned with faint praise." Kate said.

"Oh, I know! Still, I thought I was pretty good as a decoy. Y'know? Drawing his fire so you could get your shot in?" Tony told her.

"Decoy? Tony - you were dancing like a loon out there!"

"Kate! Please! You mean you didn't appreciate my fancy footwork?" Tony stepped back in mock dismay.

As he did, he felt the roof give out under him.

"Tony!" Kate cried and reached for him.

But it was too late.

Tony didn't even have time to throw himself flat, to try and save himself. His feet went clear through the ageing roof, and the rest of him followed...


	2. Chapter 2

Tony opened his eyes, and instantly wished he hadn't.

Light shot into his eyes and his back ached, like he'd hit the ground at a greater rate of knots than nature had intended.

Hang on a minute! Hadn't he just fallen through a roof?

Where the hell was he now?

He reached out and found himself on a hard wooden floor.

Looking around him, he saw hard wooden benches and candlelight.

Tony gently sat up, hearing his spine crack as he did.

He dusted down his clothes, grateful that he hadn't chosen today to wear his Hugo Boss suit and handmade shoes.

In fact, he seemed to have chosen to wear washed out green fatigues with "USMC" stencilled on the left hand shirt pocket.

This was wrong.

This was wrong in too many ways to count right now, but Tony vowed to count them out as soon as he found out what the hell was happening.

As he pulled himself off the floor using the back of one of the benches, Tony saw the room in its entirety, and instantly knew where he was.

A church. Because, you know. MTAC didn't have an altar installed there. Unless the base Chaplain really had got total control of the redecoration budget and no one has thought to mention this to Tony.

Tony stood up and, as he did, he saw a figure kneeling in front of the altar.

"Er hello?" he ventured, making his way up the aisle.

The figure was mumbling something, giving Tony time to note the black robe and headcovering, the trim off-white shoes and the tone of the voice.

"Er, ma'am?"

The figure stopped mumbling, stood up, paused and turned.

Tony stumbled when the lightly tanned face looked up at him from the altar.

"Kate?! You're a NUN?!!"

Kate looked back, the smile now looking slightly bemused.

"Why, surely Mr Allison, you know I'm a nun. And my name is Sister Angela, not Kate. Is that the name of your sweetheart back home?"

"Kate! It's me! Tony! What are you doing in that habit? And why are you talking in an Irish accent?"

"Ah, now Mr Allison, calm down. You've had such an upsetting experience over the last few days, come with me and I'll find you something to eat at the bungalow." She laid a gentle hand on his arm and led him out of the church.

"Kate, what's happening? Where's Gibbs? Where are my clothes? My weapon? My phone? Oh my God!" Tony stumbled to a halt again as he saw where the church was.

Mature palm trees swayed in a tropical breeze, and he saw a multicoloured parrot flutter past in the perfect blue sky. In the distance he could see the ocean lapping at a clean and empty beach.

'Sister Angela' led him to a low one-storey building and sat him on the veranda.

"You just sit quietly, and I'll find you some food." She reached up and felt his forehead. "Oh dear, I think you're running a slight temperature."

"Slight temperature?!" Tony fell back into a sagging chair, "I'm running a temperature?! What's going on here?"

'Sister Angela' crouched by him and patted his hand in an encouraging way. "Poor Mr Allison. Don't you remember? You were on a submarine, and were getting into boats when you were ambushed by the Japanese. You are the only survivor of your troop. You floated in your inflatable boat till you landed here, and you found me. In the church. Don't you remember telling me any of this?"

"No, Kate, I do not! We were tracking a perp, you shot him and I fell through a roof!" Tony tried to stand and found he couldn't.

"I most certainly did not! Me? Shoot someone? Why, I've never touched a gun in my life!! Heavens above, Mr Allison, you really are confused aren't you? I think you need to rest, yes, rest is the answer. And a glass of water."

'Sister Angela' stood up and disappeared into the bungalow. She returned with a glass of water, a pillow and a blanket.

Tony downed the glass of water in one, grimacing at the taste of unfiltered water. "What? You don't have any Evian?"

"No, Mr Allison, just water. Is that some sort of army drink?"

"You know as well as I do, the Marine Corps falls under the direction of the Navy!" Tony clutched his head, which was pounding now.

"You've gone awfully pale."

"Yeah, I have a monster headache. Can I, er, can I lie down for a bit?" Tony asked her.

"Surely, Mr Allison, haven't I just bought you things so you can bed down for the night?" 'Sister Angela' laid the blanket down on the veranda floor and the pillow at one end. Tony crawled onto the scratchy blanket and laid his thumping head on the pillow.

"Thanks, Kate." He closed his eyes and listened as the sounds of birdcalls and the surf lulled him into sleep.

"Rest, Mr Allison, rest." 'Sister Angela' told him, "You'll feel better after a good night's sleep."

"Okay." Tony turned over onto his side, fighting sleep, knowing he had to find out what was happening, but unable to resist the call of unconsciousness. He managed to open his eyes just a fraction to look at 'Sister Angela' once more.

"You look good in that habit though, 'Sister Angela'." he told her before he fell into the welcoming arms of Morpheus.


	3. Chapter 3

Tony woke again, still feeling tired and irritated. He opened his eyes and lifted his head off the extremely hard pillow Kate had chosen to give him.

'Just because she's decided to be a Nun doesn't mean we all have live like that!' he thought to himself.

Wiping his eyes, he looked round, blinking to clear the sleep from his eyes.

After a moment he realised two things.

One - he was in a bar.

And two - he really was seeing in black and white.

Tony looked down and saw he was sitting on a well padded bar stool. He hadn't been resting on a pillow at all, but slumped over on the bar itself.

He got off the barstool and stood up, stretching to try and loosen the knot his muscles seemed to have tied themselves in.

"Not a good sleeping position, Tony," he told himself, "and what exactly is this with the black and white thing?!"

The scene around him told him that a damn good party had been had the previous night, which was a pity because Tony had no memory of anything but falling through a roof and then being on a South Sea island with Kate, dressed as a Nun. Kate that was, not him.

And those faded fatigues really hadn't been flattering...

He started and looked down at what he was wearing, then grinned widely.

"Niiiiice!" he said, taking in a classic tuxedo, untied bow tie and patent shoes. He tugged at his trouser leg, just to prove that he was wearing the right black socks. After all it would be fashion suicide to wear anything but black socks with this outfit.

Having satisfied himself that he was properly attired, that he was not suffering from a hangover and that he was in a bar, Tony decided that it was time to check out exactly where this place was.

He made his way to the main door, noting the empty and half-empty glasses, the air smelling of long extinguished cigars and cigarettes and the dated décor.

The air was also slightly warmer than was totally comfortable for his clothing, and the atmosphere was only getting closer.

He opened the door carefully and a wall of heat hit him, making him raise his hands to his eyes to protect them from the blistering sun that nearly blinded him.

Outside was some sort of market. Only this market wasn't like the fashionable arts and crafts markets he had toured with various girlfriends in Virginia.

For a start there were Bedouin. And Camels. And women in full Arab dress.

The part of his brain that was trying to make sense of this nudged him to ask 'Has anyone done a threat assessment of this place?'.

He pushed this aside as another part of his brain was leaping up and down, desperately trying to tell him that this place was familiar, and if he just thought for a couple of seconds he'd know exactly where he was.

Just then a white woman hove into view, her hair pulled up under a neat hat, and her body encased in a suit that Tony imagined his grandmother might have worn in her youth.

The woman was carrying a small dark handbag and shading herself from the glaring heat with a parasol, as she made her way through the market, sidestepping loose chickens and ignoring market traders.

She was quite clearly making her way towards the bar.

Tony opened the door wider and stepped out onto the rough flagstones that appeared to act as some sort of patio.

The woman looked up as she heard his footsteps on the stone and raised a gloved hand to her mouth in shocked surprise.

Tony was equally startled when he saw who it was.

"Abby?!!!"

"Rick?" she gasped and stepped closer to him, her eyes full of tears.

Tony reached for her hand, but she withdrew it and lowered her eyes again.

"Rick, we must speak inside. I can't be seen here with you."

She side stepped him and walked into the bar, lowering the parasol as she walked through the doors.

Tony spun round and marched after her.

"What are you doing here?" he asked her, taking in her outfit.

Abby took long pins out of the hat and Tony saw her black hair was rolled up in a complicated up do.

"Rick, I had to come." She spoke with a slightly French accent, softly, to him.

Tony led her to a table and they sat down opposite each other.

"Why? Why did you have to come? Is Gibbs with you?"

"No! No one is with me! I, I just had to tell you, we have managed to get exit visas."

"Exit visas for where?"

"For the flight tonight. I am leaving," she paused, dropping her eyes again, "We are leaving."

"Whose 'we'? What's going on?"

"Rick - listen to me! You know whom I mean. I am leaving tonight, for America. With Lazlo." She raised eyes, shining with tears to meet his and reached for his hand.

And it was at that point Tony knew exactly where he was.

"I understand, sweetheart," he said, effortlessly slipping into his best Bogart impression, "You gotta go, so go."

"Rick, will you ever forgive me about Paris? I have to know, after all, we may never see each other again after tonight..."

"What's to forgive, Ilsa? We're living in a world gone mad," Tony leant back in his chair and stood up.

Abby gathered her bag and parasol up and stood facing him.

"You know how I feel, Rick, I think we both know, but the world doesn't have any time left for us now."

She took an uncertain step to him and caressed his cheek.

A stray tear escaped her eye and ran down her cheek. Tony reached up and caught it on his finger.

They stared into each other's eyes for what seemed like a lifetime, but was over in a heartbeat.

Abby broke the stare first, and as she walked across the scuffed dance floor, Tony called to her.

"We'll always have Paris...!"

Abby paused and smiled over her shoulder at him. Then she pushed the door open, snapped her parasol open and walked out into the sunshine - and out of his life forever.

Tony allowed himself a grin.

"I'm Rick!" he told himself, "And this is my joint! How cool is this?!"

He turned round and saw a man sitting at the upright piano to one side of the dance floor.

Tony walked up to the instrument and, to not much surprise, he realised it was Ducky, his hands playing lightly up and down the keys.

"Rick?"

"Duck, er, Sam."

"Can I play something for you? Perhaps a piece by Mozart? Or Beethoven?" Ducky offered.

"No, Sam, you know what I want to hear."

Ducky's hands stumbled over a chord, "No, I don't."

"You played it for her, " Tony told him, indicating the door, "you can play it for me!"

"I don't think I can remember it, Rick," Ducky told him, clearly stalling.

"If she can stand it, I can! Play it!" Tony told him, thoroughly enjoying this matchless opportunity.

Ducky took a deep breath, and started to sing.

"You must remember this, a kiss is just a kiss, a sigh is just a sigh, the fundamental things apply as.."

"Time goes by.." crooned Tony.

And then he blacked out.


	4. Chapter 4

"Watson! Watson! Are you alright?" A clipped British accent broke through the darkness.

Tony wished that who ever the hell Watson was, that he'd sound off soon. Because if he didn't, Tony was gonna kick Watson's sorry ass into line.

He opened his eyes and found himself looking up at the sky.

He groaned.

"Oh for crying out - where am I now?!" he murmured and rolled up to his feet, cautiously feeling for bruises or broken bones.

As he did, he realised he was no longer in the Mediterranean heat of African climes. Or was that sub-African climes?

Whatever.

Wherever he was this time, it was cold and wet. The latter being added to be the heavy fog that was descending. Still, thought Tony, at least my trusty Ulster will keep this weather out -

Hang on!

Again?

Black and white again.

A suit again.

Someone yelling a strange name in his direction again.

Tony took a moment to take in his outfit.

"Oh great," he sighed, "I always wanted to wear tweeds. With leather walking boots. And puttees." And, he added silently, a coat that if I could actually see colour? Well, it would make me look like a colour-blind chameleon. On acid. "This things got more checks than Gibbs has got grey hairs!" he moaned.

"Watson! Stop tarrying there, man! We have a supernatural beast to track down and the insidious criminal that set him upon the moor!" a voice shouted behind him.

Tony winced and turned round.

McGee, complete with matching tweed suit, stout walking boots and deerstalker hat, was looking at him with annoyance.

"Well? Come on, Watson! The light is dying - and so may Sir Henry!!" McGee told him as he turned on his heel and marched off across the desolate landscape.

"Sure, McGeek." Tony sighed and followed after him, pausing to pick up the walking stick which had laid next to him, "Hey, McGee! Wait up!"

McGee strode on.

"Hey! I'm the senior field agent here - you should be following in my wake!" Tony broke into an undignified trot, swerving to avoid wild heather and stones strewn across the ground.

Eventually he caught up with McGee, who nodded at Tony with a smile playing across his lips.

"Really, Watson, you track about as quietly as a herd of elephant. " McGee told Tony in hushed tones.

"Why are we whispering?" Tony asked, a harassed tone in his voice.

McGee stopped dead just as they reached what turned out to be the crest of a small hill. "Because, Watson, we don't want to alert Stapleton to our presence."

"Who the hell is Stapleton?" Tony asked.

"Watson, if you are seeking to vex me..." McGee hushed Tony with an imperious hand.

"What?!"

"Shhhh!"

Both men were silent, McGee's eyes closing to slits.

Tony leaned on one of the spindly trees that grew in small huddled groups across the moor.

He started as he heard the lonely and haunting howl of a dog in the not-too-far-away distance.

"What the?!!" He cried.

But the only answer he got was McGee setting off in the direction of the sound. Tony followed, knowing that if he lost the younger man in the thick fog, he would have little chance of locating him till the weather cleared.

McGee slowed to a walk and then stopped by a large leaning edifice of stone. Tony caught up with him, looking over McGee's shoulder at the path below.

A man was running, though his pace was hampered by the reason of his almost constant looking over his shoulder.

Tony followed the man's gaze to see an enormous dog bounding ever closer to his quarry.

"Watson! Quickly man!"

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Tony asked, but to thin air.

McGee half ran, half fell down the steep hill towards the man, calling, "Watson! Your revolver!"

"What revolver?" Tony shouted back, as he followed his colleague down the incline.

McGee was on the path and running after the man and animal they had observed, his stride determined.

Tony was not far behind him when he suddenly lost sight of both men.

A second later he heard a shot and yelp.

"Oh Jeez! McGee!!!!" Tony took off in the direction of the sound.

Rounding an enormous outcrop of stone which Tony negotiated his way round, he saw a scene that made his blood run cold.

The dog, which had looked huge from a distance, was even larger at close quarters. The animal lay motionless on it's side, it's dark coat glowing gently in the gloom of the fog and the fading light. A single shot between it's eyes obviously the killshot.

And McGee was bent over a prostrate figure on the path.

Tony rushed to see what had occurred, when McGee turned and gave him a wry smile.

"I rather think Sir Henry needs your medical assistance, Watson." He told Tony, and stood up.

Leaving a white faced and clearly shocked Jimmy Palmer on the path, clutching at his right arm in agony.

"Doctor!" he cried, "That dog! Is it? I mean, could it be the Hound?"

Tony took a step forward and saw that Jimmy's upper right arm was covered with blood.

"It bit you?"

"I heard it coming, but I was powerless to stop it!" Jimmy told him.

"Watson, we cannot stop here, and neither can Sir Henry," McGee told him,

"Just bandage his arm and let us return to the Stapleton residence. Our work is not finished!"

Tony helped Jimmy to his feet and rummaged in his suit pockets for a suitable bandage.

To his surprise he found a pristine handkerchief.

"What are the odds?" he murmured and tied it roughly to the younger man's arm.

"Thank you, Doctor Watson," Jimmy told him, wincing at the rough and ready treatment he was receiving.

"Yeah. Whatever. Er, you might want to get a tetanus shot for that." Tony told him, then slapped Jimmy hard on the back.

"Hey, McGee?" No answer from the thick curtain of fog that surrounded him. "McGee?" Tony shouted a bit louder.

Still nothing.

Tony turned back to Jimmy, but now he had disappeared.

Tony was alone.

"Oh this is not happening to me!" he muttered under his breath.

"Hey! Holmes!" Tony sighed and dropped his head on his chest.

"Right," he told himself, "this is about right."

And he stepped out, back onto the path he had come in on.

Only to find the path was no longer there and he was falling into nothing.

Tony did the only thing he could do, thankful Kate wasn't there to witness it.

He screamed. Like a girl.


	5. Chapter 5

Tony fell, faster and faster.

He scrabbled desperately for a hold in the darkness, but his grasping

fingers and flayling feet found no purchase hold.

'Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!' he yelled, all decorum to the wall.

Though after a while, he was still falling, and his throat hurt so he stopped.

He folded his arms and rolled his eyes, 'I for crying out loud', he muttered under his breath as he continued down.

'Okay!!', he yelled, 'Bored now!!'

At first there was no answer, not that he expected there to be.

But then, and to his startled surprise, he heard a faint 'tick-tock' above him - and it was getting louder as the source of the noise got closer.

Tony looked up, with trepidation at first, and was greeted with the sight of an enormous white rabbit, with long furry ears, fluffy while tail, tartan waistcoat complete with oversized comedy fob watch.

And McGee's face.

Replete with long white whiskers and wriggling black nose.

'Probie?!' Tony clamped his hands over his mouth, but knowing he couldn't hide the gleeful light in his eyes.

'I'm late! I'm late!!', McGee told him as they fell in tandem, waving his watch at Tony and wriggling his nose in clear distress.

'Late for what?!' Tony laughed at him, 'McGee have you any idea what you look like?!'

'I'm late! And so are you!' McGee told him and then plummeted out of sight.

'McGee! McGee! What am I late for?' Tony yelled down to him.

As he did so he was amazed and strangely grateful to whatever deity had thrown him into his current predicament to see a light below him.

'Thank god,' Tony said quietly as he headed towards the brightness, 'Now at least I'll be able to see where the hell I am!'

Sadly it was not to be - Tony entered the bright light feet first and was caught a sharp rap on the head as he slid further into illuminance.

Tony thought that if he kept his head very, very still, and kept his eyes very tightly shut he might just make it.

Sadly, the universe had decided he was not to enjoy this brief reverie for long.

A damp object entered his right ear and pushed his head about.

Tony's eyes shot open and he saw a small scruffy dog looking up at him hopefully.

'Jeez! Thanks for that, mutt!' Tony told the animal as he sat up holding his head.

'Toto! Toto!' A familiar voice called from behind him.

The small scruffy dog barked and started to jump up and down in front of Tony.

Tony looked more closely at the small scuffy dog - taking in the worn collar and glint of a name tag. He grabbed the animal mid-jump and wrestled with collar till he could read it.

'Oh god, no...' he said.

The tag read, in no way other than completely obviously' 'Toto'.

Tony put the wriggling dog down and took in his outfit.

'Aw c'mon!' he said raising his arms and looking up at the sky, 'The Scarecrow?!'

'Toto! You naughty dog!'

Tony spun round, nearly tripping over his strawfilled shoes and found himself watching a woman, her dark hair in pigtails, bending down to pick up the small dog.

'Kate?!' Tony couldn't help it, he grinned widely.

For there, stood in blue and white checked gingham, short white ankle socks and scuffed black Mary Jane shoes, was his fellow Agent.

Kate pulled a confused face, 'Oh Scarecrow, did you fall over again?

It's not 'Kate', I'm Dorothy. We've been so worried about you!'

'We?' Tony asked, dreading the answer.

'Why yes, silly! Me, and the Tin Man, and the Cowardly Lion, and the Wizard and even Gwenda, the Good Witch of the East!'

Kate/Dorothy turned and waved at the figures coming around a bend in the yellow brick road.

Tony steeled himself, somehow it was inevitable.

There was McGee, the Cowardly Lion, jumping at shadows.

And here was Abby, resplendant in black, flowing robes, broomstick in one hand and pointed hat at a jaunty angle on her head.

And here was Ducky, in green robes, looking like he always did - a bit puzzled but arm in arm with Abby. They appeared to be discussing broomstick speeds.

And, somehow, Tony watched as bringing up the rear, was The Tin Man.

Gibbs with axe on his shoulder and a permanent scowl on his shiny silver face.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Tony couldn't help it - he started to grin, even more as he looked around at his colleagues and friends.

But it was Gibbs' silver, scowling face as the Tin Man that finished what was left of Tony's resolve off.

He smirked, then guffawed, and finally, when he could control it no longer, laughed out loud.

'Scarecrow!,' Dorothy/Kate cried, 'What's so funny?'

Tony leaned against a tree and fought for breath.

'H-h-h-h-have you any idea what you guys look like?!'

'That's not a very kind thing to say, Tin Man!' Gwenda/Abby told him, wagging her finger as she did so.

'I concur, my dear.' Ducky said, nodding in agreement.

'Poor Dorothy is only trying to get home and you're being so unkind!'

Cowardly Lion/McGee huffed, walking up to Tony and putting his fists up, 'C'mon, c'mon! Put 'em up!' and so saying, started to bounce from foot to foot.

The thought crossed Tony's mind - should that be paw to paw?

Whatever.

Tony walked closed to McGee, and headslapped him.

McGee cried out dramatically, and fell to the floor in a ball.

Kate ran to his defence ans knelt down, stroking the lion's mane.

'Scarecrow, that was so unkind!' she told Tony, 'Poor Cowardly Lion -

does it hurt so?'

Abby stepped away from Ducky and pointed at Tony with one hand, the other holding her broomstick aloft.

'Scarecrow - if you can't play nicely it's time for you to go!' she said sternly, and raised both arms and her eyes to the darkening skies.

'My sister! My poor sister! Hear my cry for justice!'

The wind started to pick up, making Toto yap.

The skies darkened further and black clouds rolled in, bringing flashes of lightning with them.

'Woah!' Tony told Abby, 'Abs! Calm down!'

But Abby was not in a mood to be placated, and from the eager looks on everyone else's face, neither were they.

The wind blow stronger and stronger around Tony, making him stagger about drunkenly.

'Abby! Stop! I'm sorry for headslapping McGeek!' Tony cried out.

But Abby still wasn't listening. Tony could see her eyes were now closed, and her lips were moving ever faster as she commanded the wind to seek justice.

'Jeez Abs! It was a headslap - not Murder One!' Tony yelled through cupped hands, but the wind speed did not abate, it picked up speed around him.

Tony started to get even more worried as he looked above him and realised he was now in middle of a tornado.

He staggered about, buffeted about the small circle he was trapped in by the wind, unable to find a flat still surface to gain purchase and cling to.

He watched the faces of his colleagues, all dressed up in their ridiculous costumes. Somehow they didn't seem so funny now.

As he continued to be spun round by the wind, Tony found himself being lifted into the air.

'Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!' he cried out, 'Somebody - help me!'

But the last thing he saw before he was sucked up into the sky was Gibbs, the Tin Man, smile and give Tony an ironically little salute...


End file.
